Introduction
These verses from Colossians
are about good conversations. Because life is about relationships, it is full
of conversations. If we are to make the best of the many conversations we have
in a day, then we should make sure that we are having regular conversations
with God – as it is God who fills us with the right sort of fuel through which
we can talk effectively.
Such prayer conversations can
take place anytime anywhere, however, it is important to make sure … that we
are aware of God’s presence at the beginning of each day, so that we can take
that assurance and knowledge of God into all the other conversations that will
happen in a day. We never know when a particular conversation is going to be a
life-changing matter … for another person, or even for us.
The Foundation of Prayer
(v 2)
As just said, the
foundational conversation we can have each day … is with God. This helps us
with our perspectives on life. In praying to God, we are drawn out of any fear,
or self-reliance, or any negativity … toward the God of love and grace. God is
all-knowing and all-seeing, and can respond to our prayers according to a
wisdom and will … far beyond our capacities.
Through our prayers, we
remind ourselves that God travels with us, and that, although we will still have
to face up to the challenges of the day – doors will open toward good
outcomes and successful endeavours, for both ourselves and others. These good
outcomes may be different to what we expected, and what we wanted, but these
are the outcomes that the Kingdom of God looked forward to (for this day).
As such, we keep “alert”
(like the Colossians text suggests) … “keeping alert” to how God is moving,
what God is up to, how God is calling us into a partnership of mercy, how God
is answering our prayers – even the prayers we haven’t quite prayed yet
(because we didn’t yet have the words nor the faith). “Keeping alert” means we
are not just speaking all the time, or thinking what we will pray next,
but rather leaving space for listening, and also observing, offering room for
God to respond and enlighten us.
Because we know that God is
present and active, we don’t ever pray in vain hope, but rather with
thanksgiving – because we know that this is a conversation that is being heard
through the best of listening ears, and that God is thoroughly faithful to
us. God is on the job, even if we haven’t quite interpreted how as yet!
Prayer for Others (v3-4)
In this prayer conversation,
we are also praying for others, and especially highlighted in the text, is the
one at the coalface of mission – the one who is out at the edge in their
witnessing for Jesus. These are the ones who most need our prayers – the
cross-cultural missionaries sharing the good news of Jesus in other countries, across a local community, and also with the person next door. This reminds us to think well beyond
ourselves – that there is a spiritual move on … God is reaching out in mercy
across the world, and across our community. Wherever closed doors have been
encountered, we would pray for open doors to emerge.
And, the more we can engage
in prayer for this movement of God’s Spirit, the more we are likely to be a
part of it ourselves – to actively engage with God in His love and mercy for
all humanity. Let me repeat that! The more we can engage in prayer for this
movement of God’s Spirit, the more likely we are to become a part of it … and
at one with it – to engage with God in His love and mercy for all humanity –
rather than ever falling away into apathy, half-heartedness, or in any sense …
giving in to defeat.
Two weeks ago, we talked
about the tremendous success the apostle Paul had in Rome (in sharing the
Gospel), despite being imprisoned and chained to a guard. Paul was successful
with his Roman guards, and also as an example to the church in Philippi. I
think we can gauge from the words here in Colossians, that he would attribute
much of that success … to prayer.
We read these beautiful words
in Isaiah chapter 50: “The Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher, that
I may know how to sustain the weary with a word; morning by morning he wakens –
wakens my ear … to listen as those who are taught” (50:4). This must be the
testimony of anyone who is called to teach – that they are open and ready to be
taught. We could also fairly apply this to anyone opening their mouth!
The clarity of our
presentation will directly depend upon … how close we are attending to God’s
instructive words to us. Like what happened on the ‘Day of Pentecost’, when the
disciples were assembled and ready to hear, and the Holy Spirit came upon them
in power – we need to learn to speak in the language of those who need to hear. For this, we need God's wisdom. To this we shall return in a moment.
Integrity (v 5)
Having prayed
early and throughout the day, and prepared ourselves for various interactions
and conversations – our conduct, the way that we live, needs to be consistent
with the desire of our prayers. This includes our ethical and moral responses
to the situations around us, and also our behavioural response to any incidents
that occur – especially the unexpected and unwarranted things that can happen.
This is all about making it easier (and NOT harder) for someone to believe and
come to know Jesus. And as verse 5 suggests, there is some urgency about
getting everything in line and in harmony.
I say that the more you are
known as a Jesus-person the better. But being widely recognised as a
Jesus-follower bears the consequence of being held to account for one’s
actions. I have NO problem with being held to a high standard … by anyone and
everyone – whether or not they could meet that standard themselves! And,
when I fail, I can just have the graciousness to apologise; and I do have the
grace of Jesus available through which to be forgiven. Life, for the
Jesus-person, is about what? Advancing the Gospel! “Making the most of the
time” (v 5b) we have.
Proper Seasoning (v 6)
Having prayed for ourselves
and others, with alertness and thanksgiving, keeping in mind the good passage
of the Gospel message – we should consider the quality of the other
conversations we have each day. Does the other person or people in our
conversation come out better than when we started to talk? Do we come
out of such a conversation with a sense that there was grace expressed; even
that God was actively present?
Our “speech”, according to
verse 6, needs to be “gracious” and “salty” (v 6).
To be “gracious” is to
apply the grace we know in theory, and that is gradually changing our lives …
to the very real circumstances and interactions we have each day, and also to
the relationships we are seeking to build. “Graciousness” will be seen in love,
compassion, encouragement, welcome, hospitality, and the value in which we hold
another person. In a very personal sense, to be “gracious” … will often mean
apologising and asking for forgiveness. Being “gracious” will also mean …
granting forgiveness. To be “gracious” would also indicate open and honest
communication, where issues that may have divided, are dealt with
constructively.
To “season” conversations
with “salt”, is to bring good taste, flavour and life to people; to
offer words that touch the heart and make a difference; a conversation that
will tend towards preserving or saving someone … where otherwise there may
have been loss or ruin. This is all especially important to consider … when
we are put on the spot, as we often are – when someone needs an “answer”, and
when this “answer” might have monumental significance. We can leave someone
stuck where they are, or perhaps, with “salt” – we can make a strong contribution to
their future well-being.
Can we be wise in our words? Such wisdom comes from God, and
we should be seeking this wisdom … in prayer and in the Word. Also, can we
deduce the right moment to speak into someone’s life? Can we produce a
good word in the right season? Are we fully prepared for that conversation …
that might happen before we know it? Will we be able to happily enter
into a redemptive conversation with someone – where ‘redemptive’, or
‘redeeming’, means bringing something back … to where it should be?
Proverbs 15:23 reads, “To
make an apt answer is a joy to anyone, and a word in season, how good it is”
(NRSV).
Or, in the NLT, “Everyone
enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right
time!
Hard Conversations
This brings me to the area of
“hard” conversations – those conversations we would prefer not to have,
yet are needed. They are needed if others are to thrive, and needed if we are
to follow our calling (of bringing grace and salt). These could be
conversations around our witness to Jesus – where such conversations are hard
for us, because we are uncertain of the reactions we will get – but
nonetheless, we strongly sense, something has to be said! Or, these could be
conversations where we have to say something strident, or something that, in
our sense of discernment and wisdom … just needs to be said – because the other
person is just plainly going down the wrong path.
“Salt” also prevents
corruption – so, how can we (wisely and effectively) prevent corruption? This
is in the area … of being our brother and our sister’s keeper – keeping them
from unnecessary pain; or, more positively, aiding their spiritual growth. Hebrews
10:24 says we should “provoke” one another toward love and good deeds. We are
thus looking for a reaction that results in positive change.
Therefore, given the chance, we will NOT
‘enable’ a person to keep going down the wrong track … just because it’s
easier for us, and avoids conflict, or is less risky! It would be easier to
just nod our head, but that is NOT salty NOR gracious. I don’t have that many
regrets in my life – nothing that I lose too much sleep about – except those
times when I should have said something better than I did. I should have been
more willing to speak about Jesus, or I should have said something stronger
than I did … to help someone else think differently (than they were).
I was struck recently, when I
read an essay by the famous writer and pastor F W Boreham. He was reflecting
upon Judas, and the deep dilemma he had got himself into … leading ultimately
to his betrayal of Jesus, and his own personal destruction. We bemoaned with
sadness last week how Judas had walked away from Jesus. In this essay, Boreham
wondered what the other disciples were doing … while Judas was going down the
tubes.
What did they say when Judas
put too much focus on money? What did the other disciples say to him, when
Judas started to look disaffected with the way things were going? When they
went out on mission two-by-two, what was the disciple with Judas talking to him
about? How could they let things go so far wrong for Judas? Interesting
thoughts. Challenging thoughts!
Lori Stanley Roeleveld, who
has written a book on this topic, writes, “I believe hard conversations are a
sacred art, a calling of Christ on our lives, a kingdom-building work [that] he
compels and equips us to do”. We see people who are stuck. We see people making
bad decisions. We see people complacent, inactive, uncooperative or fearful.
What do we say? We search for the right words through which we can intervene.
What might we have said to
Judas? What could have been deemed honest and wise feedback to Judas? We
might have gently suggested that he, Judas, put aside his personal expectations … for just a moment, and simply sit at Jesus’ feet … to really
learn from him!
Self-examination
Now, in all of this, we have
to be sure to ask ourselves, in the presence of God … is this (hard)
conversation we’re thinking of … totally in the best interests of the other
person, without being unduly biased by our own particular agendas? Is this
(hard) conversation going to be pure in motive? Is this (hard) conversation
fully grounded and timed IN LOVE? We have to attend to this, as James chapter 3
reminds us … of the power of the tongue to do evil, and how easy it is to fall
in this area.
Speaking the truth must
happen in love. Even hard conversations must be undertaken with this
graciousness (we have spoken of), and due sensitivity, and generosity of heart.
Otherwise, an argument may be won, but a person (even a friend) can be lost!!
Conversation can NEVER be used as a blunt instrument. And a broad brush can
NEVER be arbitrarily applied across a whole group, as if everyone was in the
same boat. That would tend to unnecessarily make innocent people feel under
judgment or condemnation. Everyone is unique and different … and must be
respected and loved as such.
Both sides of the coin are picked up in Proverbs 12:18, which reads: “Rash words are like sword
thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”. So ‘hard conversations’
require wisdom that only comes from God, and patience that only comes in full
measure from the Holy Spirit. Hopefully ‘tough conversations’ can happen within
supportive relationships where trust has the time to build. Reflecting back on
Proverbs 15:23a – whereas we may not be thanked at the time (quite
possibly the opposite), hopefully in hindsight … there will be gratitude
expressed.
Conclusion
So, we have travelled full
circle back to prayer – our need of prayer … to make the best of our earthly
conversations. Prayer is certainly the link … that makes redemptive and
life-changing conversations possible.
In referring to Jesus, Luke
recorded that, “All … were amazed at the gracious words that came out of his
mouth” (4:22). And, we heard last week, how Peter had concluded, through his
knowledge of Jesus, that Jesus, in fact, had the “words of eternal life” (John
6:68). This means that everything that Jesus said … pointed people in the right
direction, confronted their biggest needs, and brought them closer to their
best experience of salvation.
Can we do the same? Think of
Zacchaeus, and how Jesus brought him the most “gracious” encouragement; but
also think of Peter – how Jesus needed to be direct and “salty” with him,
though fair and purposeful, at that famous moment when Peter was trying to
divert Jesus away from following God’s will.
Prayer
May God, as we commune with
him, guide us in understanding, and bring to our mind those words that we will
need to use … in all the important conversations we enter this week and next;
while, at the same time, we will have the right loving attitude that fully
considers the unique situation the other person is in – so that we do NOT act
out of our own need, but rather truly through the beautiful mercies of our loving
God. Amen!
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