A)
The
Duplicity of the Tongue
Controlling the
tongue is something that surely confronts all of us. And controlling the tongue
can be a very difficult task – but it is possible. And there is a lot at stake:
our relationships, our church’s witness, our own character. In verse 6 we read
the dramatic words that the “tongue … sets on fire the cycle of nature” –
meaning that the “tongue” can really upset the balance of things … fracture
relationships, neighbourhoods, international relations. The tongue can be like
a rubbish tip (with the reference to “hell” or “Gehenna” in verse 6). We should
never underestimate the tongue’s potency. One of two drops of poison dropped
into a community can have a devastating effect (v.8).
Our tongue can
build up or tear down. The two extremes: our tongue can do untold damage, or,
can be a source of real blessing. Unfortunately, even if we have found numerous
ways to bring encouragement, and this is what we mostly do, we still have also
found ways on occasions to be negative and do harm. We might be accepting of
this … 70% is not too bad! But James, as ever, pushes us to what he calls a
‘completeness’, which does not even accept the slightest slip up. Verse 10:
“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing; my brothers and sisters, this
ought not to be so”. Sincere regret will lead to our forgiveness … yes; and we
don’t want to get bogged down in any guilt – there’s no need to. But sincere
regret means that we want to do better, and we will take steps to do better.
The spring that
comes from our mouth should be wholly consistent. And God will help us do
better; especially as we give God access to those areas of our life where
problems lie. For the sharpness of our tongue reveals problems (even areas of
darkness) that lie within. The level at which a Jesus-follower is at, when it
comes to their maturity, can be noticed whenever they open their mouths.
Eventually, what is really going on in their heart, will be exposed through
their mouth. So to really take on board the challenge of James here, we need to
take inventory, seek help, and open our lives to fresh insight. We need to
allow God to fulfil His promise to reform us into a new creation. Let’s not
be resistant! There’s more to be gained than lost.
Let’s concede
that we are works in progress. We have growth bursts, but also times of plateau
and even regression. Let’s also though appreciate the importance of how we use
words, and appreciate the strong emphasis that James puts on this. Let’s try
and find the right words for each and every occasion. And when we slip up,
let’s use this as a learning tool for the next time. We want people to want to
listen to us, we want people to be able to trust us. James seems to address two
styles of communication here: (i) those in teaching mode, and (ii) those in
general conversation. [James handles the whole area of ‘conflict’ when we get
to chapter 4.]
B)
Finding
the Right Words
(i)
In
Teaching
James poses a
seriousness around teaching … specifically here teaching in the spiritual and
church setting, but any of this in general terms applies to many situations.
There is here a warning against wanting to do something that you’re not really
prepared or ready for. This doesn’t mean we should be frightened about or
resistant to teaching. It more goes to motivation. The proper motivation for
teaching in the church is guiding people closer to God. Teaching like this
should never be an ego thing. There are warnings (in verses 14-16) about the
negative power of “selfish ambition” and “bitter envy” – how such things
compromise the truth; the result is far from inspired or helpful … it is
described as “earthly, unspiritual, devilish”, bringing “disorder and
wickedness”. In verse 17, James also warns about “partiality or hypocrisy”, which
suggests a lack of even-handedness, wholeheartedness and integrity.
On the other
hand, there are those who have really been given a gift of teaching, but maybe
feel they aren’t ready (and this could rightly come from a place of humility).
These ones should be encouraged to step up, at the same time as getting
constructive feedback and valuable guidance.
How do we find
the right words when teaching?? There has to be prayerful discernment
about what is to be said and how it is to be said. Personally, I always start
with the biblical text and read over and over it – as if reading it for the
first time. I also have in mind the context in which the teaching will be
delivered. I trust that God is guiding my thoughts to the most important parts
of the passage and bringing some new understandings. After all, the teacher
does not always know what it is that the listeners need to know or to hear or
to feel. When I start my jottings or typing, I pray that something will emerge
which will help someone in their journey.
You can’t teach
impersonally the way you might to a mirror, because before you, you have
living, breathing, feeling individuals. You have to be sensitive to your
listeners. But at the same time, you can’t let this scare you off, because the
Bible is full of challenges that can’t be watered down.
Teaching from the
Bible requires a good balance of encouragement and challenge: words that
will build our faith, and words that will promote change where change is
needed. Teaching in church needs to allow the Bible to become more
accessible, more helpful, more understandable and more applicable. Teaching
from the Bible must always offer hope … hope that the future can offer
more blessing, more growth, and a deeper relationship with Jesus. This sort of
criteria guides well > what words go in, and what words stay out. It also
governs what are the most important things to cover now, and what can be left
for another day.
(ii)
In
General Conversation
When it comes to
our general conversation, there are major themes that run through what James is
saying. As mentioned earlier, James picks up strongly the inconsistencies that
occur with the one and same mouth uttering both blessings and curses, in other
words, both positive helpful language and negative hurtful language. We have
said something about how to work on that from the inside, however we can also
become aware of what is helpful and what is harmful – and sort of keep a watch
on ourselves. It is no accident what is added to the end of verse 9!! We cannot
worship God with integrity, while we bring hurt and harm to those who have
likewise (to us) been created in the image of God. There would be a certain
arrogance in this! Some might go as far to say that to curse anyone else is to
curse God.
There is no lack
of challenge here, to any of our harmful words, to any person at all! We want
to build all our communications into a more consistent, reliable, trustworthy
whole. [And this would certainly include all written communications (emails,
letters), and our use of social media.] From God’s channels there should
only be words that build up others. And I don’t think it matters if that
person is present at the time or not.
So, we surely
know what would be OUT!?!
·
hasty,
careless, ill-considered words; abuse
·
lies;
anything that flirts with dishonesty; uninformed gossip (often laden with
selfish agendas)
·
harsh
criticism (in no way based around helping a person; revealing judgemental
attitudes)
·
cutting
put-downs, insults, insensitive labels (that undermine self-esteem)
·
speaking
before listening
What has been
said can never be unsaid, and the ramifications spread without control. Often
our tongue is operating while our brain isn’t. And sometimes we can fall
uncritically into how the general culture communicates, without thinking more
carefully about the fallout. Sometimes shock, frustration or disappointment
break free of any control we might have. If we are well aware of our
vulnerabilities, we need to take the necessary steps to heal ourselves so that we
don’t go on hurting others.
Proverbs 12:18 – Rash
words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
C)
The
Words of Wisdom
Verse 17 gives us
some measuring sticks for our words. And these are still measuring sticks, even
when dealing with difficult people and frustrating situations. This is called
“wisdom from above”, i.e. the highest wisdom. This wisdom is based on how God
relates to us. Wise words can bring blessing and healing. James gives four categories
in which we may find words of wisdom:
(a)
PURE – this is where we don’t force our agenda
on other people, or see other people as simply vessels to meet our
needs; we have open space for the other person. Any advice or guidance we bring
is given gently, and with the other person’s growth in mind. This is akin to
being Spirit-filled and a natural channel of God’s blessing.
(b)
PEACEABLE – this is where we don’t go out to
cause distress or conflict; quite the opposite – we try to guard, prioritise,
maintain and promote peace and harmony. This is not peace at any price;
this not a peace that ignores injustice, but a peace that looks to
community well-being …’shalom’. This is not harmony for the sake of it
that ignores apathy, but rather a peace that seeks space for the potential in
others to surface. Verse 18 speaks about PEACEMAKING, where our words
would proactively seek peace in places where peace and opportunity don’t
currently exist.
(c)
GENTLE
& WILLING TO YIELD
– this is being open to other thoughts and new learnings; where we accept and
show that we have much to learn, and are willing to hear other opinions, and sensitively
understand different points of view. Different experiences of life often lead
to very different ways of viewing the world. Even those who gather together as
Jesus-followers often have very differing views on certain issues. We may never
agree with such points of view, but we can often learn much from the place
where they originate.
(d)
FULL
OF MERCY AND GOOD FRUITS – we remember we are forgiven through the grace of God, and thus
offer compassion, mercy and forgiveness to others. This is not just a sentiment
of forgiveness and mercy, but also practical responses to those in need.
We build empathy for where other people find themselves at, try to sense how it
feels to be in their shoes.
“The wisdom
of God is condensed in Christ [Jesus] and in him crucified. If you know
that wisdom, you are eminently qualified to help others.” (Edward T. Welch in Side
By Side p.70). This is the vulnerable Jesus, the giving Jesus, the weeping
Jesus, the loving Jesus – this is the wisdom of God. If we live and act out of
a vision of the crucified One, we will tame the tongue and be a blessing.
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